Sent in by Tom Richards
A fellow went for a job as a lumberjack, the boss didn't much like the look of him but as he could plainly handle his axe he decided to pose him some hard questions.
The boss pointed to a tree in the clearing and asked what species it was. The fellow squinted and replied that it was a birch. Another tree was pointed out and correctly identified as an ash, followed by a common oak and a sessile oak, "You can tell by the acorns you know."
Unable to catch him out on his extensive knowledge of trees the boss was getting frustrated and pointed to tall symetrical conifer and asked which was the front and which was the back. The lumberjack walked over to the tree, took a slow walk around the trunk and returned. "Well?" asked the boss, "That side's the front" said the lumberjack. "How the heck can you tell the difference?" asked the boss, exasperated. "Oh, that's easy" replied the lumberjack "Someone's had a crap round the back".